The Best Deceptions
by Ice Princess3
Summary: Tristan returns to a world he can no longer control, as his life turns to chaos will he be able to survive it? And will he want to? (Trory)
1. This Is My December

Disclaimer: Hmm…let me think, still not mine. I'm just playing w/ the characters. I promise to give them back eventually.

A/N: Okay this is going to be long. 1st thank you so much to everyone who has reviewed my stories, you guys are the cat's pajamas (sorry I just read a book w/ that in it, lol). This is the story that comes are Fairy Tales & Castles please read that first. It's darker and deals more w/ Tristan but don't worry there will be comedy too. It takes place senior year 2nd semester. Each chapter will be a song title and feature a quote from that song. If you want to suggest any songs w/ awesome lyrics please do. The title of this story is from a Dashboard Confessional song. 

A/N 2: Okay this deals w/ feedback. We all know how much a adore it, but among the wonderful reviews I got for "There May Be Something There..." I did also get 2 flames (they have been removed), they did upset me. Please use the Golden Rule, if you don't have anything nice to say don't say anything at all. Constructive criticism is welcome, but make sure it is constructive okay? I'm sensitive to that. Yay! I'm done now you may read my new saga, let me know how it is!

The Best Deceptions

Chapter One: This Is My December

_"This is my December/This my snow covered home/This my December/This is me alone/And I just wish I didn't feel like there was something I missed/And I'd take back all the things I said to you/ And give it all away/Just to have somewhere to go/ Give it all away/Just to have someone to come home to."~Linkin Park_

          Tristan DuGrey was afraid, not that he would ever admit it to anyone, least of all his father. As he sat on the plane with his headphones blasting the movie of the week, he was trying to drown out the thoughts that plagued him as he headed home. Of course it was useless his fears were all real and the reality of being on this plane going back to his house only proved that to him. Military school was an escape, not a great escape, but an escape nonetheless. 

          He didn't like it there, and he never would under any circumstances. He didn't enjoy being yelled at constantly and their constant attempts at discipline, the running for no purpose and the lovely task of cleaning a bathroom being shared by 20 other guys. This experience did not turn out to be some touchy feely, now I've grown so much and I'm a changed and now well-adjusted kind of thing. Ha! As if that would ever happen. He was fundamentally fucked up. Screwed up in so many ways, a tangled web of confusion, hate, anger, envy, hurt and fear. 

          It was the fear that woke him up in the middle of the night. Fear that made bile rise up in his throat and his mind go blank. Fear…sometimes, he thought, that was all that was left of him. No shrink in the world could unravel the mess that was his life. And even is somehow they could, he wasn't sure if he would want them to. This was all he had even known. And secretly he wasn't sure if he could function any other way. 

          Rory Gilmore woke up her stomach churning with butterflies; it was almost the end of Winter break. It was the end of her senior year; she couldn't believe it was almost all over. All her hard work and sacrifices had gone towards this one goal, Harvard. She would find out soon whether or not the dream would come true. And she was afraid, more accurately, she was _terrified_. This one decision, one letter, one word had the ability to alter her life forever. And so much in her life had been radically changed already. Something things for better and some—for worse. And once again just like this past summer, she sensed the change in the air. 

          Tristan got off the plane and stretched his long legs and cramped muscles. He walked through the gate and was shocked to find his father standing there waiting for him. He had expected either to take a cab to his home or for the families' driver to pick him up. But no, there was his father looking as uncomfortable, severe and as disappointed as usual. Seeing him did not raise any feelings of fondness, even though Tristan had not seen him since the night he first left for Military school. The only emotions that arose were those of distaste, anger and that fear…fear which had never really left. 

          "Tristan." His father said curtly as he observed his son nearing towards him. 

          "Father." Tristan responded in the same tone, his muscles already clenched in anger he could not manage to suppress. 

          He claimed his luggage; there really wasn't much of it. So left driving home in that stone cold silence. They arrived at their home, more of an estate that had been in their family for generations. It was on old stone building with that stately manor that was easily identifiable in the New England area. It was beautiful outside but empty inside. Tristan thought it aptly represented the people who lived there. Beautiful yet empty. 

          He walked in the foyer, and as he expected nothing had really changed. He hung his jacket up in the closet and put his bags down knowing one of the servants would carry them to his room later. For now he had to follow his father into the study, and maybe finally the reasoning behind his departure from military school would be explained. He waited until his father was seated behind the large oak desk, and then took a seat on the other side. Waiting for the proverbial sword to come crashing down…and it did. 

          Alexander DuGrey cleared his throat, trying to think of the best way to tell his son the news. But when no ideas came to him he decided just to tell him straight out.

          "Tristan, your Grandfather passed away three days ago. The services will be held two days from now."

          He couldn't even describe how he felt when he heard that. All the breath left his body, like he had just taken a direct hit to his solar plexus. He felt lightheaded as all the blood left his head. He felt as if he was frozen in place, he couldn't form a coherent thought. The only thing he could think of was NO! 

          His father remained stoic as he watched his son's face drain of color and his ragged breathing increase as the news began to process. He offered no comfort, he didn't know how. He got up quietly and said as he exited "The services will be held tomorrow. You're…you're grandfather wanted you to give the eulogy." He paused awkwardly wondering if there was anything else he should say. But nothing came to mind, and he was already craving another drink. So he just left the study—and his son. 

          Tristan wasn't sure how long he sat there, trying to absorb the information presented to him so coldly. He wasn't aware of anything until a hand upon his shoulder startled him. It was his mother.

          "Baby, I'm so sorry." Janette DuGrey as she squeezed her son's shoulder again, attempting to give him some measure of comfort. She wasn't sure if he would even accept a hug from her. 

          He turned to look at his mother, she looked as poised and perfect as ever. That is except for the redness around her eyes that even the best make up couldn't conceal. He knew that she had loved her father very much even though as the years went by the distance between them had grown to form this chasm. 

          She cleared her throat again trying to not cry, "One of his last requests was that you return to Chilton to finish out the rest of the year. Your father didn't and well—still doesn't agree but your grandfather and I pushed and since the money is coming from the trust fund your grandfather left you, your father has no choice." She ended with a small smile gracing her lips as she thought of a battle she had finally won. 

          Tristan's mind was so boggled with everything he didn't even have the energy to process how he felt about going back to Chilton. It was all too much. He just nodded halfheartedly to his mother, and as an afterthought gave her a kiss on the cheek as he left the study.

          He went up to his room. His bags had already been unpacked for him. He pulled on a pair of sweatpants and an old shirt that was torn at the shoulder. The pain was starting to come in waves; suddenly remembering he dug into the back of his closet and found something he had stored there long ago. He smiled and took his first shot of Bacardi and kept taking them until he didn't feel anything at all. Oblivion overtook him. 

I am shocked and appalled there is no longer a button, you have options now. I'd go w/ submit a review if I were you, lol. Just a suggestion—no pressure. Let me know how I'm doing w/ this new story! Thank you  ;)


	2. One By One

Disclaimer: Sorry to disappoint dears, still not mine. Neither is the song "One By One" by Enya.

A/N: Awe y'all are so sweet. Thank you so much for all the fantastic reviews. And to **Supergirl101** thanks for the great song recommendation! I love that song and you're right the lyrics will fit in beautifully with this story. I can definitely see using them in the future. Everyone remember I would love to hear song rec. from you. As well as any other feedback! No trory stuff yet, but wait for the next chapter it will be there. I'm going to try, key word being try to update this about once a week. So let me know what you think!

Chapter Two: One By One

_"He says adios/says adios/and now you know why/there's no moon in her sky/_

_He says adios/says adios/goodbye/No goodbyes/for love brightens their eyes/ don't say adios/say adios/ and do you know why/there's a love that won't die/Don't say adios/say adios/goodbye."~Enya_

          When he woke up the next morning, he was lying on his bathroom floor. The last thing he remembered was thinking that he was going to just throw up some superfluous organ like his spleen at the rate he was going—then nothing. He guessed he had passed out. Thankfully his hangover didn't hit him too hard, a headache and slight nausea but nothing compared to last night. He took a shower and in walking into his room he found a dark suit had been laid out on his bed, for the funeral. 

          The funeral—for a moment he had almost forgotten. 

          But now it all came rushing back, that he was here because his grandfather was not. The fact that he had to give a eulogy for him in a little over an hour and he still had no idea how to put his feelings into words. 

His Poppup, his mom's dad was the best man he knew—had known. His other grandfather Janlen was fine, but he was his dad's dad and stiff and formal. Not his Poppup who had been larger than life. Robust and quick and laugh and quick to scold, he recalled also smiling briefly remembering when his Poppup had caught him making out with Cecile in the rose garden at age 13. He had never been so embarrassed in his whole life. His Poppup lectured him in front of Cecile about how one treats a lady. And he couldn't tell his Poppup that Cecile wasn't a lady…or anything close to one. Ladies did not let you stick your hand up their shirt on the fist date. He had never been able to look her in the eye after that incident. 

          The one man in his life he actually looked up to, respected…and loved was gone. The one stabilizing force and now Tristan felt completely adrift. Nothing steady, nothing right. Lost. 

          He sat in the church not even hearing the words the priest was saying. Everything in him screamed to run, to leave. But he couldn't and all his energy was focused on not fleeing, not breaking. He had to remain stoic. The church was filled to its capacity. People stood in the back because there were no seats left. Some were here as an obligation, but most were here because Francis Desales had been a truly great man, he was loved. And he would be sorely missed. Most of all by his grandson. 

          Tristan wouldn't have even realized it was time for him to speak if his mother hadn't squeezed his hand, signaling he should go up to the podium. He gave her hand a gentle squeeze back. Janette dabbed her eyes once again with the handkerchief and watched her baby, who reminded her more everyday of her father, go up to give the eulogy.

          He walked up to the podium slowly; he held no note cards of pieces of paper in his hands, nothing to prompt him. He knew this was going to be the hardest speech he would ever make, also the most important. And so he would speak from the heart, like his Poppup had taught him. He cleared his throat hoping that would dispel the lump that had formed there and unclenched his shaking hands. Taking a deep breath he began.

          "Last night I kept trying to come up with one memory, one moment that would sum up who my grandfather was, and I couldn't do it. I couldn't pick one, and I guess that makes me lucky because I have so many great moments to look back on. And I know that all of you out there have the same thing, memories of him that are special to you. That's what's important he won't ever really be gone as long as we remember him and all that he was. He used to tell me when I was younger that there is no real past tense of love, because real love never dies. Just because the person may be gone from this earth the feelings you have for them don't change. As most of you know my Nana passed away 15 years ago, and there wasn't one day that I don't remember him going to me 'Your Nana, Tris, was quite a lady. Lord how I love that woman.' Love not loved. Death can't conquer love, not really. So what I'm asking you to do is to remember him, honor him. Not by giving money or erecting statutes or anything like that, just don't forget about him. By keeping his memory alive…a part of him will always be with us."

          After the service most people went back to the DuGrey's home for the wake. It was the last place Tristan wanted to be, everyone eating and carrying on like nothing had changed. But he knew his father would kill him if he skipped out this early. So he did his duty, counting the minutes until the guests would leave. He was sneaking outside for a cigarette when a voice startled him.

          "Tristan?" a voice called out softly on the terrace. She was almost positive she had seen him go out this way.

          It took him a minute to process the voice but then he remembered. Like he could ever forget her voice. He had certainly heard it enough over the years.

          "I'm over here Paris." He responded stepping out from behind one of the plants. 

          She stood there for a moment unsure of herself, she hadn't seen him in such a long time and so much had changed since then. But one look at the tousled blonde hair and the sad blue eyes, she remembered this was Tristan—the little boy playing at being a grown-up. 

          "I'm so sorry Tristan." She said softly and emphatically. Not offering any of the other contrived platitudes people felt were necessary. "He was a wonderful man and he loved you a lot."

          It were her words and conviction that brought him close to tears, while he and Paris may not have been the best of friends the last couple of years, they had a past. He fought against the tears threatening to fill his eyes and looked away flicking the smoldering cigarette off the balcony. 

          He felt her arms encircle him and he returned the hug, grateful for it. Her hair smelled like peaches and she was solid and comforting, something that he desperately needed. He withdrew, his eyes dry.

          "Thanks."

          Paris smiled and nodded "I thought you might need an old friend."

          Tristan smirked grateful for the distraction "Are we friends? After the Romeo and Juliet fiasco I thought you would only want my head on a stick, as a trophy."

          Her eyes narrowed "Yes your head on a stick wouldn't have been a bad addition to my trophy collection since you almost cost me an A in Shakespeare, but luckily I pulled us through. I don't know what the hell was wrong with you before, but I really hope you worked through this asshole stage you were in." she continued in a softer tone as she went to leave. "If you need anything, let me know."

          "Someone to catch me up on the work at Chilton would be nice."

          "You're coming back?"

          "Sure looks that way." He affirmed not adding that it wasn't the work he felt unprepared for. 

          "Oh." She furrowed her brow for a moment. "But winter break is over tomorrow."

          He nodded. "I know, see you tomorrow Paris."

          "See you tomorrow." She echoed as she walked into the house.

Here we are again…back at the button. Decisions—decisions. If you want to make the author rejoice and do a funny little review dance I'd suggest clicking on the submit a review button. Trust me, the dance is worth it. It's a mix of Lorelai's Coffee Dance (see my fic There May Be Something There…" and Anya from BTVS Capitalist Money Dance. Picture it, this is what your reviews will cause—funny funny dancing and eternal gratefulness. 


	3. Sonny

Disclaimer: La la la…oh wait I'm supposed to put something here—oh yeah I remember. Not mine and the song is "Sonny" by New Found Glory.

A/N: Thank you so much to everyone who reviewed. I love the encouragement. And a big thanks to **Shimmer_Dust** for this title's song and her other suggestion which I can totally see being in another chapter, great picks! I have fall break so I'm posting this and going home to no computer. So leave me some great reviews to see when I come back on Tues. There's some Trory action in this so enjoy!

Chapter Three: Sonny

_I'm sorry/I heard about the bad news today/A crowd of people around you/Telling you it's okay/And everything happens for a reason/When you lose a part of yourself/To somebody you know/It takes a lot to let go/Every breath that you remember/Pictures fade away but memory is forever.~ New Found Glory_

Rory arrived at school with two travel mugs filled with coffee. She knew that she would need as much caffeine as she could get today. It was the first day back at Chilton, and she still couldn't get rid of those dratted butterflies in her stomach. Christmas had been fun a little awkward but fun nonetheless. She had never seem her mom have so happy, it had taken a while but Lorelai and Luke had finally worked it out and were dating. Her and Jess had fizzled into friendship things were a little weird but it was getting better each day. Dean…well it would take a while to repair the damage she had done to that relationship. She missed his friendship but she knew that it might never be repaired. Now she would be able to throw herself back into school and her vice-presidency and her work on the paper. Finish her year at Chilton and then on to Harvard—hopefully.

          Tristan had just come out of the headmaster's office when he saw her, Rory Gilmore. She looked different but the same; she looked more mature and more confident but she still retained that innocence and a fresh beauty. For one second he wanted to run to her, have her serenity sustain him. But instead he let his heart harden and turned in the opposite direction—walking away. 

          Rory looked up from her book and cup of coffee and turning the corner she saw a guy that looked like…but no it couldn't be him. She would have known if he had returned, wouldn't she? And the Tristan she had known wouldn't walk away from her…would he?

          "Rory!" Paris barked scaring Rory and almost making her spill her coffee. Rory glared at Paris until finally Paris said sorry tersely.

          "So what's the crisis now?" Rory asked as she resumed ingesting the coffee quicker as she needed as much caffeine as she could get to put up with Paris this early. 

          "What's the crisis? Don't you pay attention? I was speaking to the alumni chair and…"

          Rory half listened to Paris's new tirade as she prepared for the new semester at Chilton, her last semester. Thank God. 

          Tristan rubbed his eyes the day was half over, he was hung over again and his brain was filled to capacity with all the work he had to catch up on. While at military school he excelled in all his classes, because there was nothing better to do than study. Plus he really was very intelligent he just got distracted easily. But military school in no way compared to the material Chilton expected its students to know. 

          He spoke to Paris earlier and they arranged to get together this weekend to start to get him caught up. If anyone could do it, it would be Paris. He also hadn't seen Rory again, he was grateful for that. He really didn't want to deal with her now. Louise and Madeline stopped by his locker to welcome him back; they also gave him their condolences. For once Louise refrained from making any lascivious overtures. She just gave him a hug and a kiss on the cheek. Maddy just gave him a warm smile and squeezed his hand before he left. He had forgotten that they pretended almost as much as he did, and under the makeup, provocative outfits and words—they were nice girls. 

          He didn't want to deal with his old cronies so during his free period he sought refuge in the library. Sitting at a table in the back he placed his head down trying to get some rest. A crashing sound awoke him; he looked to his right to see a whole self of books on the floor and an embarrassed Rory standing over them. 

The scene was so comical looking that he had to say something.

          "You know Mary, you really should be more careful."

          Her head whipped around so quickly that she toppled from her crouching position.

          "Tristan?" she whispered as she tried to rearrange both herself and the books. 

          "In the flesh." He responded as he ambled over to help her put back the books she had inadvertently knocked over. 

          Rory looked up and yep, it was him. Looking even better than when he left, military school had only helped to sculpt his physique. But the closer she looked she also saw the bloodshot eyes and the dark circles under them. 

          He noticed the intense study she was making and looked away as he continued to pick up the books and place them on the shelf. 

          "When did you get back? Why are you back?" she asked unable to contain her curiosity. 

          He continued to focus his energy on the books and responded in a blasé tone, "I got in a few days ago. I'm back because they decided it was time for me to come back."

          Rory knew there had to be more to it that that, "But—"

          Tristan interrupted "So how's life with the bag boy? Still Ward and June Cleaver?" saying anything to divert the attention from him.

          Rory rolled her eyes at the change in topic; of course he had to bring that up. "No actually Dean and I are not together." We're not even really friends anymore she thought. 

          Tristan raised his eyebrows, "Wow what happened to the perfect couple? I mean I saw you guys coming to the reunion with your 2.5 kids and minivan."

          She glared at him and then succinctly told him what happened. "Jess happened."

          "Jess? Dean cheated on you with some girl?"

          Rory fought the urge to laugh at that. "Jess is a boy."

          "Dean cheated on you with some guy?" he asked incredulously. "Wow I didn't think Dean swung that way…but now that you mention it."

          Now Rory couldn't stop laughing at the though of Dean and Jess, oh wow. She couldn't wait to tell her mom this one.

          "No I cheated on Dean with Jess." She finally clarified after she stopped laughing. Them she frowned she hated admitting she had done it, but it happened and she couldn't change it. 

          "Wow. I am shocked." Tristan half joked. Part of him wondered about how much she had really changed since he left.

          "Not as shocked as I am to see you back." She replied, "So who did you have to bribe to get back here. What strings did your father pull this time?" she asked playfully.

          But those questions once again reminded him of the event that had brought him home and his good mood came crashing down and pain descended after it. So he lashed out at the closest person…Rory.

          "I didn't bribe anyone nor did my father pull any fucking strings. I'm out and that's it. And now I'm back in this hellhole, don't presume you know why or that you know anything about me. Cause you don't." he yelled and stormed out of there, he couldn't stay at school. So he left.

          And Rory remained motionless in the library trying to regain her composure from the verbal lashing she had just received. What had happened to him?

          Tristan speeded down the highway, which highway he wasn't sure. He just felt so frustrated and angry. Today had been harder than yesterday. He didn't think that would have been possible. But it was, the normalcy of school contrasted with the well-meaning condolences on his loss. And Rory's inadvertent comment just made him snap. 

          Rory walked out to her car at the end of the day, more than ready to go home. She was still upset over the way Tristan had treated her. She was so preoccupied that she didn't notice Paris coming up behind her.

          "Rory, where are you going?"

          Rory sighed as she turned to answer Paris. "I'm going home. School is over."

          "Yes, I'm aware of that fact. We were suppose to meet to discuss the first student body meeting of the semester at 3:05 it's now 3:11." Paris reminded her briskly.

          Rory groaned. "I'm sorry. It completely slipped my mind."

          Paris nodded, while neither would admit it openly, they had become really good friends over the past months. And Paris knew Rory wouldn't have forgotten their meeting unless something was bothering her. "What's wrong? Is it Jess?" she asked.

          "No, it's not Jess." Rory paused debating whether she should tell Paris or not, Tristan might still be a touchy area. Oh well. Here goes nothing. "It's about Tristan. I ran into him and we were talking and then he flipped out on me."

          Paris gave a tiny smirk, she should have known it was Tristan—those two created enough drama to fuel a WB primetime teen soap. "Oh. I'm sure he didn't mean to flip out on you. He's going through a lot because of his grandfather's death."

          "His grandfather died?" Rory echoed.

          Paris nodded. "Yeah, the funeral was yesterday. He and his Poppup were extremely close. So it has to be really hard for him." 

          Rory closed her eyes in frustration, she felt so guilty now. "I didn't know that," She whispered " no wonder he was in a volatile mood."

          "You can apologize tomorrow Gilmore. We have work to do." Paris said as she grabbed Rory and headed back into the school building.

          Yeah…tomorrow, thought Rory.

          Tristan arrived home sometime after dark. He didn't know how far he had driven or how long he had been gone. He had just driven blasting his favorite CDs like _New Found Glory_, anything to distract him. He walked into his house and went to go straight up to his room but his mother appeared and stopped him. 

          "Your Father needs to see in his study." She whispered as she took his jacket and book bag from him.

          Tristan closed his eyes and tried to prepare himself for whatever was waiting for him in that room. His mother's hushed tone singled that his father had been home and drinking for quite some time already. This was never good, but he braced himself for whatever he would be told now and knocked on the study door. What he would be told…was not something he could even begin to prepare himself for.

Well, I hope y'all enjoyed the funny dancing that your reviews for Chapter Two caused. No dancing this time just pleading cause my mean senile Writing teacher made me feel like crap this week…that I'm worthless and an awful writer. So since you're opinion means more to me than hers…some nice feedback would help a lot. Thanks!


	4. One Step Closer

Disclaimer: Okay kiddies lets review, shall we? Not mine…repeat after me: not Katie's. Okay I think that sums it up.

A/N: My dear reviewers you are just fabulous. I adore each and every one of you. You guys are definitely confidence boosters. Thank you. Sorry this took awhile, school has been interfering. Also I have a job *blinks eyes in shock* I keep forgetting about that, you see I've never had one before. Sad I know since I'm 19. Okay once again getting off topic that seems to be my specialty. Big thanks and hug to **Priya**, you're such a doll. Thanks for the review it made my day. While I would like to subject my English Professor to all types of torture I'll refrain because she's the worthless one not me. Her opinion doesn't matter people like you do. So thanks for the marvelous review, you're a sweetheart. As are the rest of you. Remember suggest any songs that remind you of angsty Tristan, or if there's some song you just really love, share I'm always open to new music. Okay my ramble is done, go forth and read!

Chapter Four: One Step Closer

_"I find the answers aren't so clear/ Wish I could find a way to disappear/All these thoughts they make no sense/I find bliss in ignorance/Nothing seems to go away/ Over and over again/Just like before…/Everything you say to me/Takes me one step closer to the edge/And I'm about to break/Cause I'm one step closer to the edge/ And I'm about to break." ~Linkin Park_

"Come in." a gruff voice called out and Tristan pushed the door opened and took at seat in his usual chair across the desk from his father. The room was dim due to the fact that only his father's desk lamp was lit. Alexander DuGrey sat back in his chair his right hand on his drink. He surveyed the boy for a moment before he began to speak, he could tell that Tristan was tense and uncomfortable but it did not bother Alexander. Tristan was no longer his problem.

          "Yes?" Tristan prompted getting impatient with the prolonged silence.

          Alexander took a sip of his Manhattan and then began to speak. "Tristan, because of your grandfather's passing there are some things that need to be brought up about your inheritance. You're almost eighteen and therefore almost a man, I hoped that military school would give you some maturity but…" he trailed off the regaining his train of thought proceeded. "But that's of no consequence now. There are some facts of your birth that you do not know of, Francis would not permit it to be spoken of…but he's no longer an issue." 

          He coughed as the whiskey burned his throat, but he finished off the glass and decided to just get this ordeal over with. "The matter is that you are not in fact a DuGrey—because you're not my son. Francis made it so that if I ever told you I wouldn't get his shares in the company. But now it doesn't matter cause he left them to you anyway." He continued his voice becoming louder as the anger and the alcohol took effect. 

          Tristan was leaning back in his chair, once again shocked. He couldn't wrap his head around what his father…no not his father—was saying. 

          Alexander leaned forward his voice now elevated considerably. "Yeah that's right. You're bitch of a mother got pregnant by another man during our engagement and her son of a bitch of a father made sure that I'd marry her and claim you by bribing me with money and shares in the corporation. And like a fool went along with it. Because I wanted the money and one day when the old man died it would all be mine. But no, here's his will." He yelled brandishing the papers on his desk. "And he left it all to you, you little bastard. And you are a bastard does your fancy education pay off? Do you know what it means?"

          Tristan feeling the anger flowing through him pushed back his chair violently as he got up incidentally knocking over the chair. "Shut up!" he yelled as he yanked open the door. "I'm glad I'm not your son, you cold hearted son of a bitch!"

          Janette hearing the argument and surmising what Alexander must of told her son, she ran into the study. "No! You promised you wouldn't—" she yelled as she grabbed Alexander's arm. 

          Without a second thought Alexander backhanded his wife across the mouth with such force it knocked her to the ground. And kicked her in the back when she grabbed at his legs.

          "Bitch." He spat at her. 

          Tristan stalked over prepared to hit this man, who was not his father, but as he drew back to punch him Alexander pushed him off balance causing Tristan to fall over his own mother.

          He leaned down to help his mother up. There was blood at the corner of her mouth and a bruise was already forming. Alexander was laughing drunkenly in the background. 

          "I'm going to kill that asshole." Tristan vowed to his mother viciously.

          Janette's eyes went wide and she whispered. "No. Don't interfere. Please don't fight with your father."

          A thousand similar childhood scenes flashed before Tristan's eyes as he screamed at her. "He's not my father!"

          His mother gave him a defeated look and replied. "No…he's not your biological father but that doesn't change anything."

          "Yes it does." Alexander said interrupting the two. "As of today Tristan is no longer my heir. He's disinherited. You're father screwed me, Janette and now I'm doing the same thing to your bastard kid." 

          Tristan surged up again in ready to fight but he felt his mother's hand tugging on his pant leg. "Please don't." she pleaded.

          "I don't fucking believe this!" he cried out. And it just became too much for him. He needed to get out of there. He could feel the blood pounding in his veins crying out for some kind of release, the need for violence. 

          He raced up the stairs to his room and began picking things up and just throwing them. Tossing anything he could get his hands on, something about the shattering of glass made it better, if only for a second. Frenzied he went into the bathroom tearing it apart until he found the prescription painkillers he had used for a knee injury a while back. Grabbing the bottle of vodka he had stolen from his parent's liquor cabinet, he threw a couple of the pills in his mouth and washed them down with the alcohol. 

          The vodka burned his throat causing him to cough but he forced himself to take another drink. Within minutes the room was rapidly spinning out of control, just like his life. He stumbled out of his bedroom and into the hall. The first things he saw was the many family portraits that had been taken over the years, all lies. The sounds of breaking glass once again gave him some brief comfort as the picture frames hit the floor. He didn't even notice the shard that had sliced his hand causing him to bleed. The sound of broken glass crunching under his feet echoed in the empty hallway as he stumbled out. 

          He got into his car not really knew what he was doing there. Everything was still spinning, his hands shaking and his vision blurring. The anger once again ignited within him and he viciously jammed the key into the ignition starting the engine. He of course wasn't thinking rationally or really thinking at all, or else he never would have gotten behind the wheel and drove off into the night. But what he did not realize was that this drive was going to change everything. He had been broken into a million tiny pieces and they were know flying down the highway towards rock bottom...and his destiny. 

Okay I'm not exactly back to the crazy dancing mood but I'm not throwing a woe-is-me party anymore. So we'll compromise with a slightly normal me. Of course if I get enough reviews…there will probably be crazy dancing accompanied with singing most likely in a public place, lol. So review away my dears, cause you know I love them. 


	5. Head On Collision

Disclaimer: Alas another Xmas has gone by and I still do not own GG. I think I need to give Santa a little more incentive ;) …wow that came off kinda slutty—oh well!

A/N: HUGE apology for taking so long getting this chapter out. I'm sorry but I've had no free time. I had school all week and then I went home to work on the weekends and then finals and now break. Even though I'm on break I'm still working 30 hours or more a week and have had 3 medical emergenices since being home. Big with the not fun. I'm going to try my best to get the next chapter out ASAP. Thank you bunches to everyone who reviewed last time. Thanks to **Princess Ruby **and **Facetious **for the awesome song suggestions! Hope everyone has a safe and happy new year!   ****

Chapter Five: Head On Collision

_"I've been waiting for a good day/I've been holding back long enough I've been hurting to tell you some things/it's not the falling of the temperature/that's making all our bones run cool/it's the breeze you make   
the presence felt when you're around me/and it feels like I'm at an all-time low slightly bruised and broken/from our head on collision /I've never seen this side of you/another tragic case of feeling/bruised and broken/from our head on collision/I've never seen this side of you/ another tragic case" ~New Found Glory_

Rory flopped onto her bed. It had been a long day. Her meeting with Paris had been more trying than usual thanks to the added guilt due to the Tristan incident. How was she supposed to know that his Grandfather had just died? She didn't mean to set him off like that. It was just with him…whatever she was trying to say always comes out wrong. And, she admitted to herself sometimes it comes out—mean. 

          "Rooooory" called out Lorelai as she entered the house. It had been a long day at work and she needed to vent to someone, and of course the someone she first thought of was—"Roooooory!"

          "I'm in here." Came a return shout from the bedroom.

          Lorelai walked in and collapsed on her daughter's bed. "Hey babe. How was your day?"

          "Confusing. Yours?"

          "Tiring. I'm seriously considering doing that running away and changing our identities thing we've discussed."

          Rory nodded as she rested her head on her mom's shoulder. "You got it Kiki."

          Lorelai smiled. "Pack your bags Lola."

          "Why do I have to be Lola?" Rory asked furrowing her brow.

          "Because it has a literary reference for you and enough of a stripper tone to match my name of Kiki. Plus hello—Copacabanna."

          "Oh right, got it." Rory aka Lola laughed. "So what was wrong with your day?"

          Lorelai sighed dramatically, cause lets face it that really is the only way to sigh, "Well…it all started with the snotty couple in room 114. See the snooty lady with the beehive is the picky person I have ever met."

          Rory snorted. 

          "Yeah I know _I_ might be a little choosy at times but nothing compared to her. She had complaints about everything! From the soap to the décor, apparently the color of our rooms isn't soothing enough for her. I swear this woman makes Norma Desmond look like low-maintenance!"

          Rory laughed and patted her mom on the back and said "Don't worry tomorrow is another day."

          "Thanks Scarlet, darling. But frankly my dear, I don't give a damn." Lorelai headed to the kitchen to see what was leftover in the fridge. " So what happened to you today my lovely offspring?"

          Rory followed her mom and proceeded to tell her about the whole Tristan encounter that had been on her mind.

          "Mom stop it!" Rory commanded.

          "Sorry hun, but Dean and Jess…" she was overcome by laughter again. "Please let me be the one to tell him that."

          Rory fought a grin back. "Fine you can tell Jess. But only because you had a bad day."

          "Oh this will make it the teeniest bit better." Lorelai said with an evil grin. 

          "So…"Rory said trying to prompt her mother into giving her some advice.

          "What?" She took her cue from her daughters arched eyebrows and waning patient. "Oh right. Hun, just apologize tomorrow and offer your condolences. There's nothing you can do now. So you might as well put it out of your mind."

          "Okay." Rory conceded, she would try, but trying didn't lead to much success.

          Jess was halfheartedly swiping the counter with a dishrag that looked suspiciously like one of his Uncle's flannel shirts. He snorted, must be Lorelai's doing. Ever since they had started dating Lorelai had been subtly and not so subtly making changes around the diner and Luke's life in general. Not that Luke didn't get her back for those things, little did she know she had already eaten tofu and had decaf coffee. It was things like these that led to the loud fights and the even louder make-out, oops make-up sessions. Jess still had to fight back a blush and the urge to vomit from the one time he accidentally walked in on them. Well—he had tried to instate the sock rule way back when, not his fault that Luke didn't listen.

          So when Lorelai and Rory walked into the diner, he braced himself for whatever scene was about to take place. 

          "Hi Honey Bunny!" sang out Lorelai.

          "Don't call me that." Luke answered gruffly barely looking up from the order he was taking. 

          "That's not what you said last night." Lorelai quipped with a cheeky grin.

          "Ew Mom!" Rory said as she bypassed her mom and Luke and went straight to the counter. "Hey Jess."

          "Hey." He replied.

          Rory sighed; things were still a little weird between them, since the breakup. She was tired of it, she wanted her friend back, and she just didn't know how to fix it.

          "Oh god my eyes." Groaned Jess.

          Rory looked up to see Lorelai and Luke exchanging a hello kiss. She smiled, as disturbing as it was; it was something that made Lorelai happy. And that made Rory happy. 

She loved Luke and when him and her mom started dating she had been wary. Okay, maybe more than wary. Rory had been scared. Not because she didn't like Luke. She thought of Luke as an almost second father. But after everything that had happened, between her mom and her real dad and then Max…and then her dad again, she was tired of seeing men walk out of her life. She didn't want Luke to leave and she was afraid that if they dated and then broke up…she would have lost one more person she loved.

Instead she lost Jess. A person she had cared—and still cares a lot about. As Luke and Lorelai began to date and Rory's fears began to surface, she pushed Jess away. They began to fight over dumb stuff. And by the time Rory had realized what she had been doing it was too late. Her relationship with Jess had changed too much. 

That night Jess had come over after walking in on Luke and Lorelai. He had been drinking a little bit, trying to purge the image from his mind he said. Rory, finding out about her mother and Luke having sex, flipped. I mean she knew it was a normal part of a relationship but she just had flashbacks of Lorelai and Chris…and she took it out on Jess. They got into a huge fight, screaming and, yelling things they didn't mean. And then Rory just broke down. And through the tears and the tirades she finally told Jess what had been bugging her. And he understood…well not completely, but enough to let her go. He told her that while he did love her, it wasn't the same, and she knew it. And he didn't want to end up bitter and hurt as Dean had. It had changed.

But the awkwardness still lingered. 

Tristan was driving as fast as he could, he tried to look at the odometer but found it too blurry for him to see. Oh well, he thought, and pushed the pedal down farther. Out of his window he saw a large sign but once again he tried to read the writing but found it impossible to make it out. As he craned his neck to try and read it, he didn't notice the patch of black ice on the road. His car spun out. He turned the wheel hard, trying to remember from Drivers Ed what you were supposed to do in this situation. But it was too late, the car crashed into the sign and as his head hit the steering wheel he was thrown into that familiar darkness.

I know I'm a major bitch for leaving y'all with a cliffhanger but what can I say? I enjoy being evil ::hehe:: So click that little review button to leave me some feedback and I'll be typing away at the next chapter…major Trory action with Jess thrown in for good measure! 


	6. Unknown

Disclaimer: Y'all know this already, not mine. If I owned Gilmore Girls my life would be a lot happier. 

A/N: Thanks to everyone who reviewed, more thank yous are to be found at the end of this chapter. Sorry about the delay. I've been having problems with my phone line and with my life in general. Life sucks like never before. My mom is really sick and I can't go back to school this semester cause of my mom being ill and I have no money to pay for school. So I'm stressed beyond belief and looking for another job. Reviews make me smile and really need some smiles now. Anyway if you bothered to read this thanks. On with the show. 

Chapter Six: Unknown 

_"This doubt is screaming in my face/ In this familiar place, sheltered and concealed/And if this night won't let me rest/Don't let me second guess/What I know to be real/ Put away all I know for tonight/And maybe I just might learn to let it go/ Take my security from me/ And maybe finally I won't have to know everything/I am falling into grace/ To the unknown where you are/ And faith makes everybody scared/ It's the unknown/ The don't-know that keeps me hanging on/To you I've got nothing left to defend/I cannot pretend that everything makes sense" ~ Lifehouse_

          Jess took one more drag on his cigarette before dropping it on the sidewalk and crushing the smoking butt with his sneaker. He had finished cleaning the diner and had decided to take a walk to clear his head, plus Luke bitched when he smoked in the house and then Lorelai started in on him too and of course Rory. So it was just easier to take a walk on a cold winter's night. He was about to head back home when he heard a huge crash. So he turned in that direction instead.

          Two minutes later he found himself in front of the Welcome to Stars Hollow sign. Or what used to be the sign. Now it was decorated what used to be a very expensive car. The engine was smoking and shattered glass littered the scene. The front end of the car was smashed almost beyond recognition and Jess could just make out a human form in the drivers seat. He went to the pry the door open. And he saw a guy about his age slumped over the steering wheel, blood was pouring out from a head wound. 

          "Hey!" Jess shouted panic beginning to set in, "Can you hear me? Man—wake up!"

          Tristan groaned. His head was throbbing and his body felt like it was on fire. He was slowly coming into consciousness. 

          Jess pulled the body out of the car and it was then that he noticed the guy was wearing a Chilton uniform. Part of him smirked; of course it would be some rich asshole. 

          "Hey man, wake up!" he shouted again.

          "Jesus Christ, stop yelling." Tristan murmured. His head was freaking killing him. He opened his eyes adjusting to the dim light and the bruises that were forming on his face. 

          "Fine. I'll stop yelling cause I've got to call an ambulance." Jess muttered, half to himself, as he gathered his wits back.

          An ambulance? What the hell? Tristan thought, and then he remembered the crash. Shit. "No ambulance." 

          "What?" Jess asked in surprise. 

          "No ambulance." Tristan repeated and winced at the pain in caused. He looked up to see whose voice was torturing him. "Who are you and why are there two of you?"

          Jess laughed. "Just one of me here buddy, and I'm Jess Marino. Who the hell are you?"

          "Where am I?" Tristan asked ignoring Jess's question. 

          Jess leaned closer to Tristan trying to assess the damage. "Man, didn't you even see the sign you ran into. Welcome to Stars Hollow."

          "Stars Hollow…I know that place."

          "Good for you. Now I gotta make a call." 

          Tristan groaned again. "Wait Jess…I know that name too. You're the guy…with bagboy." He said trying to string his thoughts together but not succeeding cause all he really wanted to do was drift off into the oblivion of sleep.

          "What?"

          Then it hit him, this guy must know Rory. 

          "Do you know Rory Gilmore?"

          Tristan gave a harsh laugh as the irony hit him and then the pain. "Mary, of course, it always comes back to Mary."

          And then he passed out again.

          Jess sighed he always found his way into these kinds of messes. He checked the guys' pockets and found what he was looking for. 

          A cell phone. And he began to dial the familiar number. 

          At the Gilmore residence Rory was immersed in her textbooks. Lorelai was spending the night at Luke's and so Rory had a distraction free night ahead of her or so she thought. Then the phone rang.

          "Hello." She said answering it.

          "Hey Rory. It's Jess."

          "I know your voice Jess." She laughed.

          "Yeah." He said with a rueful smile but then continued, "I've got a little problem…"

          Rory arrived at the scene of the accident a little more than frantic some unknown Chiltonite had drove into the Stars Hollow sign. That's all Jess had told her. She rushed over and was completely unprepared for the sight she was greeted with. 

          She ran to wear Jess and the unknown boy were. 

          "Is he okay?"

          Jess shrugged. "From what I can tell he's lucky, just banged up and probably has a minor concussion."

          Rory nodded trying to absorb all of it. "Why didn't you call an ambulance?" she yelled as the thought hit her.

          "He didn't want to me to." Jess answered simply. 

          And for the first time Rory looked down at the victim—and she felt her heart stop.

          It was Tristan. 

          It was Tristan with blood and bruises covering his face. It was Tristan with who had come out of the twisted tangled of metal that was once a car. Tristan…

          "Oh God." She wasn't even aware she uttered the phrase.

          "Rory…Rory!" Jess shouted. "Are you okay? You look really pale. I don't need you keeling over too."

          "I'm fine." She forced out the words through stiff lips. 

          "Enough with yelling." Groaned Tristan as he was once again rudely awakened. 

          She dropped down to his side and gingerly placed one hand on his cheek. "Tris…"

          "Hey Mary, fancy meeting you here."

          She rolled her eyes and tried to keep the tears out of them. "Such the charmer. You never stop do you?"

          "Nah—too easy." He tried to smile but found it painful. 

          "We better get him back to my house." She told Jess. "Help me get him into the car."

          "Aw Mary, can't wait to get your hands on my hot tight body."

          She grinned and once again rolled her eyes. "That's right Solider Boy, your bruised blood covered carcass is such a turn. I can barely wait till we get home."

          Tristan was sinking into unconsciousness again but he got in a final word, "I knew it." 

          "So that's Tristan."

          "Yeah, that's him alright." Rory conceded looking over at Jess as they drove to her house. 

          "I thought it might be him."

          Intrigued Rory asked why.

          "Oh just a couple of things. He knew of Stars Hollow and when he heard my name he made some twisted reference to Dean and of course his reaction when I mentioned your name."

          Rory waited for some kind explanation. "Well—what did he say?"

          Jess laughed. "Patience is a virtue you know."

          "Not one of mine."

          "Obviously. Anyway he said 'Mary, of course, it always comes back to Mary'. I wonder what he meant by that." Jess shot her an inquisitive look.

          Rory fought against blushing "I have no idea."

          Jess gave her that cool smug look that said he didn't believe one word she was saying.

          They arrived at the Gilmore's house and barely managed to haul the semi-conscious Tristan into the house. They dumped him on the couch and looked at each other wondering 'what do we do next?'

          "Are you sure he shouldn't go to the hospital?" she asked Jess again. 

          Jess nodded. " I know it looks bad but trust me it's not that bad. Head wounds bleed like a bitch but it doesn't need stitches. He's might have a little concussion so keep waking him up and ask inane questions like 'what year is it? And how many fingers am I holding up?'

          Rory nodded and went to the bathroom to dampen a washcloth. She then knelt beside Tristan and began to wash the blood from his face.

          "How do you know all this?"

          Jess shrugged "I used to get into a lot of fights in New York and none of us would go to the hospital so you learn this kind of stuff.

          "Mary?" Tristan whispered as he felt the cloth on his skin.

          "Yeah it's me. Just rest and let me clean you up."

          "Bossy." 

          Rory laughed. "I think you have me confused with Paris. Now stop talking and let me work."

          Tristan worked his bruised face into a half smirk. "Yes Nurse Mary…hmm Nurse Mary sounds like something from a por—"

          "Don't finish that sentence DuGrey." She ordered fighting another blush. 

          "What did I tell ya—bossy." He lamented aiming a look at Jess who laughed.

          Rory in turn glared at Jess. "Why don't you do something useful."

          "Like what?"

          "I don't know." Then she paused thinking. She needed someone who could help her with Tristan and who knew him. Then it hit her. "Call Paris."

          Jess groaned "Why do I gotta call Gellar?"

          "Cause I'm Nurse Mary." 

          "Fine." Jess said as he stormed out of the room. "I guess I should call Gypsy and tell her to tow what's left of Tristan's car too."

          "Good idea."

          Jess found the phone in the kitchen and the list of numbers on the fridge and dialed Gellar's.

          Paris looked up from her notes and heaved a sigh of annoyance as she picked up the phone to her private line. 

          "Hello." She barked into the phone.

          "Hello to you too Gellar." Jess said sneering he knew he must have interrupted her precious studying.

          "Marino what do you want?" she asked ignoring the little flutters she always got around him. 

          "Nothing from you. Rory told me to call you."

          "Why? What's wrong?"

          "This guy named Tristan crashed into the Welcome to Stars Hollow sign."

          "Tristan? As in Tristan DuGrey?" Paris asked alarmed.

          Jess grimaced as he heard the note of panic enter her voice. 

          "Is he okay?"

          "He's just pretty banged up. Rory wants—"

          Paris cut him off. "I'm on my way. Do you need me to bring anything?"

          "No. But I gotta pick some stuff up at the diner so you can pick me up there before you get to Rory's."

          Paris was already grabbing her coat. "Fine see you in an half an hour."

          "Fine." Jess answered tersely but found that he was talking to a dead phone line, she had already hung up.

          He returned to the living room and grabbed his jacket. "Gellar's on her way. I'm going to the diner to get us some food and more ice. Be back in about 45 minutes."

          Rory looked up from Tristan's side and smiled gratefully. "Thanks Jess."

          "Yeah."

          As the door closed Rory once again roused Tristan. "Soldier Boy, ya there?"

          "What?" he grumbled. 

          "I got most of the blood off your face and bandaged the cut on your forehead. Now I need to see the rest of your wounds."

          "Fine." He said and tried to go back to sleep.

          Rory huffed. "No you don't understand me. I need you to take off your shirt."

          He opened his mouth but she cut him off. "One smart ass comment about that and I will make sure to poke at every bruise I see as I play the Spice Girls very loudly. Cause I think that will _help _your headache." She concluded smiling sweetly.

          "You're mean." He pouted. 

          "Deal with it and help me get this shirt off."

          She started unbuttoning his shirt and tried to act very nonchalant about it. But her hands were shaking—from what? She had no idea. She managed to get the shirt unbuttoned and then she had him sit up and worked at easing the shirt off him broken body. 

          He bit his lip trying to ignore the pain removing his shirt caused. The alcohol and drugs were wearing off leaving him feeling the pain—both physical and emotional. 

          Rory looked down at his torso, it was a rainbow of bruises and cuts. The worst was around his ribs. 

          "Tris what did you do to yourself?" she whispered to herself, not really aware she had spoken aloud. 

          He looked into her blue eyes that were glistening with tears. And whispered back "I don't know."

          She looked at him and for the first time saw the naked pain in his eyes, pain that was not caused by his injuries. 

"Were you trying to kill yourself?" she finally asked the question that had been bouncing around in her head since she saw the scene of the accident.

Tristan bowed his head for a moment as he tried to sort through his own tangled thoughts. Then he looked up forcing his eyes to meet hers, blue on blue. 

"I don't know—" he whispered, "maybe. Maybe I was. I don't know." He said one more time looking back down at the carpet. Trying not to see the tears that were coursing down her face. "I don't know…"

A lot of my favorite authors add personal thank yous to reviewers and I really like this so I've decided to start doing this also. We all know how much reviews mean to me, lol. So here's thank yous to the people who reviewed for Chapter Five. I'll continue this after every chapter from now on. 

Blank Reviewer: Sorry I didn't update sooner. See A/N for reasons why but I hope this part was worth waiting for. I tried to make it longer.

Lola: Thanks! Great name by the way, lol. Don't worry as you see Tristan was left pretty much intact. I could never inflict too much damage on that pretty face ***wink*** More Trory action is to come. It will move faster than "There May Be Something There…"

Mac: Thanks hun! I'm glad you like it. I looked at the Dashboard song and good call, it would fit well with some Trory action, thanks. I will definitely check it out. Hehe and you're a Buffy fan! Yes I saw the musical and loved it. Anya's "I'll Never Tell" dance is an interesting one maybe I'll try that one in the future, lol. Of course we know that Anya's song will never be that 'break away pop hit' lol.

Jazz: Thanks! I'm glad you like it. I know poor Tristan I'm really putting him through the wringer with this story but it will be worth it. 

Mandie: Thanks I'm glad you like it. I'm really going to make an effort into updating more frequently. I promise. 

Ellie: Hey girl!! How are you? I'm so sorry I haven't had time to talk. But I was so happy to see your review. I'm glad you like the story. Wow thanks for the amazing song suggestions. I love Our Lady Peace but I don't have that CD, yet anyway. But I looked at the lyrics and they fit really well. I can't believe you're almost done with GG Days I need to catch up on that and review. I can't wait to see what happens. Thanks again hun, I'll talk to you later! 

Materialgrl82: Thanks for the compliments. I'm glad you like the story and yeah I know I was mean leaving it at a cliffhanger but I think this chapter was worth it. Yeah Alexander is a grade A asshole and that's one of the main reasons Tristan's so messed up. Yeah NFG does rock. I'd hadn't really listened to them until a reader suggested their songs for this fic and I got addicted. On that nore the song you recommended "Piano Song" wow. That fits so perfectly I love the lyrics. Thank you! 

Laine: Thanks for the review and I hope you enjoyed this chapter as well! 


	7. Damn

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine except for the plot.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews and encouragement! Personal thank yous can be found at the end of the chapter. Once again I apologize for taking forever but I think I've finally overcome my writers block so the ideas are pouring out now. So read and review, thanks again!

Chapter Seven: Damn

_"__This old world well/ Don't it make you wanna think damn/ This cold girl well/ Don't she wanna make you scream, damn/ What's the matter girl /Don't you think I'm good enough/ This old heart's had a whole lot a breakin' down /She's got all these reasons in her head/ All that time she knew if I lied/ You can bet she will/She's taking her time 'til I thought I would die/And I can't sit still/   
Things got turned 'round /Don't know where I started from, damn/   
Can't eat, can't sleep /Could have been a bigger man, damn"_

_~Matchbox20_

Paris tried to keep calm as she approached Stars Hollow, but as many had noted, being calm and rational wasn't one of her strong points. She tried to concentrate on the road ahead of her but all her thoughts kept going back to Tristan. Like it or not that boy had always been a part of her life. From a childhood friend to an extreme crush to an adversary and then a friend again, she loved Tristan, in one form or another, she had and always would love him. 

She passed the site where the welcome to Stars Hollow sign used to reside. The remnants of the accident turned her stomach. But she forced her fear down to the pit in her stomach, where all her repressed emotions went, and focused on the task at hand.

          Jess waited outside of the dinner and once again a cigarette hung from his lips. He was so lost in his own thoughts he didn't even notice the expensive car until it swerved in front of him. His head snapped up and met angry flashing brown eyes. Yep it was Gellar. 

          "Get in Marino." She ordered tersely. And he just gave her that lazy smile. Oh how she hated that smile, that slow grin that dripped of condensation, she hated the way it made her heart do that stupid fluttering thing. 

Jess picked up the two bags at his feet and put them in the car. His movements were slow, almost idle. He could see the color rising in her face as she tried to keep her temper in check. He loved pissing her off. It was almost as fun as kissing her. But he tried not dwelling on that.

"Don't get your panties in a bunch Gellar. I'm coming."

She gave him another deadly glare and muttered obscenities under her breath as she sped off. Damn that boy and his effect on her…

Rory had been trying to busy herself around the house as she waited for Jess and Paris to get back. After his admission she had dried her tears and he drifted off into a fitful sleep. She had covered him with her mom's Hello Kitty blanket and put his bloodied shirt in the washer. 

Now there was nothing to do but wait. God, she hated waiting. She sat down on the floor next to the couch and began stroking his hair. She looked at him and felt that stirring in the pit of her stomach. No matter how long he was gone or how mad she was at him or whom she was dating she always felt that…rumble…some kind of recognition. Before she had always dismissed it as digestion or as she became a little more mature as just simple attraction. But now she wasn't so sure that was all it was. 

"Rory?" he called out groggily.

"Right here."

"Good."

"Can I get you anything?"

He tried to smile. "A new life?"

Her mouth opened but she didn't know how to respond. She couldn't make herself joke about this whole situation. Something was very wrong here and she had no idea what she was supposed to do to fix it. Or even if she could fix it. 

Tristan saw her at a loss for words and cursed himself. What was he thinking? She was a nice girl, a good girl, and there was no way she could understand what he was going through. There was no reason for him to put her through any more of this tragic farce he called his life. 

"Just forget it. I'll be out of your way soon." He said his voice rough with exhaustion and pain but Rory didn't miss the fact that he was dismissing her. After all the worrying she had gone through and was still going through he had the nerve to dismiss her as if she was some servant.

"You asshole." She yelled before she even thought. Now she was pissed off. "I don't know what the hell your problem is but don't you dare think you can treat me like hired help. I am not at your beck and call and I am sure as hell not here to be treated like crap."

"Why are you here Rory?" he asked getting more upset. "Why should you care what happens to me, other than you're such a _good person."_

"Don't you mock me Tristan DuGrey!"

"I'm not a fucking DuGrey!" he screamed back at her. 

"What are you talking about?" she asked frustrated beyond belief.

"Nothing." He answered sullenly as all the yelling was making his head hurt worse. "It's nothing you'd understand."

Rory let out a frustrated growl. "Why do you keep acting like we're from totally different worlds? Like there's no way I can have any comprehension of what you're going through?"

"Cause you can't."

"How do you know that? You don't know me, Tristan."

"Sure I do." He mocked. "You're perfect Mary Gilmore. Everyone's angel who lives in this magical little town where nothing goes wrong. And life is just peachy keen."

Rory gave a dry laugh and sat down again. She looked him in the eyes and said, "Like I said before, Tristan you have no idea."

He looked into her solemn blue eyes and saw a weariness that shocked him. Maybe his Mary's life wasn't quite as perfect as he thought. 

She looked at him and her heart just broke. He looked like a little lost boy. A little lost boy with no Peter Pan or Neverland in sight. 

"I'm sorry." She whispered. Her hand reached out to brush the hair off his forehead but his own hand captured hers. He pulled her closer and she made no move to resist. Her lips landed on his beginning this gentle, almost chaste kiss, she was careful of his bruised face and slightly swollen lips. But even this soft kiss, made her feel like her heart was about to explode, sensory overload. And he felt the same way.

They broke apart as the door opened. But not before he brushed her cheek with his hand and murmured, "Best medicine ever."

"It's no wonder we weren't in an accident. Jesus, Gellar, who ever let you have a license was a complete moron."

"Unlike the half-wit who gave you yours Marino. Cause I seem to remember Rory wearing a cast after driving with you. So I wouldn't be throwing stones." Paris raged back completely oblivious to the moment they had just interrupted. 

"Wouldn't want to damage that expensive glass house of yours." Jess mocked in a biting tone.

"Guys." Interrupted Rory exasperated, "Can you tone it down or at least go to your respective corners." She had forgotten how much Paris and Jess didn't get along. 

"Sorry." Jess muttered. 

Paris finally remembering where she was and why she was here rushed over to the couch. She winced when she saw Tristan's battered condition. 

"Tristan, what have you done to yourself?" Paris questioned as she knelt down beside the boy. 

He grimaced as he saw Paris's stern expression. "I messed up." As her eyes softened he decided to clarify a little more. "I _am messed up."_

Her heart broke for him. "Tell me something I don't know. So how are we going to fix this?"

"Don't think we can."

Rory moved away as Paris took her place. But as she went to the kitchen with Jess she called back. "Tristan, remember you're dealing with a Gellar and a Gilmore. Haven't you heard there's nothing we can't do."? 

He laughed and then let Paris cluck over him like some militant mother hen.

"So what did you bring?" Rory asked Jess as they went into the kitchen. 

Jess set the two bags down and pulled out various assortments of food, ice and coffee for Rory. 

"Thanks."

"No problem. Oh I grabbed some extra clothes for the Preppy kid. I'm not sure if they'll fit but they're better than anything you have around here."

"Thanks again."

"Hey what are friends for?" he asked with a half smile. She smiled back gratefully. 

Paris entered the kitchen and tried to control the flinch that naturally came when she saw Jess looking at Rory in that adoring way. 

"Tristan wants to talk to us. All of us." She said shooting Jess a look. 

They all sat around the sofa each with a cup of coffee.

"So what's this pow-wow about?" asked Jess kind of obnoxiously. 

Tristan didn't even spare him a glance. He took a deep breath instead and began, "Knowing Gellar and Mary I'm not going to get any rest until I spill some of my guts so here it is. And then I want you to leave me alone to sleep."

Rory and Paris both offended began to open their mouths only to have Jess hit them both.

"Anyway, as I was saying. I was upset mixed my cocktails with the wrong kind of pills and mistakenly thought I could drive. Next thing I know I'm running into something. I wake up to find Surly standing over me. End of story."

"What were you thinking?" exploded Paris.

"Isn't obvious? I wasn't thinking."

"You could have killed someone. You could have killed yourself!"

"I know Paris!"

"Ease up Gellar."

"You, shut up!" sending a death glare to Jess.

"Tristan I know you're grieving but your Grandfather wouldn't want you acting this way."

The last vestiges of color were leeched from Tristan's face as he absorbed that blow. 

"Don't talk about him." He growled.

"You know—"she began again.

Jess tired of this three-ring circus and grabbed Gellar and dragged her out of the room. 

"Leave me alone!" 

"Simmer down killer. You weren't helping in there."

She forced herself to take some deep breaths and admitted to herself that he was right. It was then she noticed that he was still holding onto her arms, but now instead of holding her in place they were lightly stroking up and down. She jerked herself out of his reach. 

"Fine. I'll let it go. For now."

"Fine."

Rory crossed the room to where Tristan lay on the couch.

"You know she wasn't trying to hurt you. And she does have a point."

"Rory just let it go for tonight. Please." He asked not opening his eyes. 

She looked down at him and immediately assented. He looked so defeated and tired. And she was tired and thanks to their kiss before she was also confused beyond belief. Everyone needed a break. She just hoped Paris and Jess hadn't killed each other. 

"We're all tired so let's just get some rest." She said, as she made sure he was covered and brought him so more ice. 

"Thanks Mary." He said his voice slurred as he began to drift off to sleep. 

She squeezed his hand one more time, trying to reassure him; someway that everything was going to be all right. But his hand tugged her back and she found herself kissing him one more time. This time is was with more passion. With more passion than anyone, who was half asleep and half dead, had any right too but she found herself responding. And it was he who broke it off whispering "Goodnight Mary, sweet dreams."

Rory just blushed as she went to her room. There was no doubt about it she was in way over her head. 

**Mandie**: You're such a loyal reviewer, thank you! **Piper-h-99**: Wow love the enthusiasm. Thanks and as you see there is more kissing to come! **ELIZA**: Glad you like it, thanks for taking the time to review. **Marie**: Sorry I didn't write more sooner. Hope your finals week went well! **Halie**: Thank you, I'm happy you like it. **Carrie**: Lol glad you like Trory action and don't worry lots more is on the way. And I have a feeling Paris and Jess may be a little preoccupied ;) **TheCurlyOne2006**: I'm glad you're enjoying it. Thanks for the compliment! **Lola**: Hope you enjoyed the minor Trory action there will be lots more I promise. And kudos to you for picking up on the Paris/Jess tension. I have plans for them. **Deeta**: Thank you for the kind words. You're such a sweetheart. My mom is doing better and while I didn't make it back to school this semester. I'm going to pick up classes in the summer. I'm a huge dork and I love school, so I'll be back. I suck at that work thing, lol. **Effie**: Thanks for the sweet review! **Ellie**: Hey girl! Glad you like this, do you have a new story up yet? Let me know. You know I love your work! **Chevie Jane**: Lol, sorry this took so long. I hate waiting for stories to update and here I am all guilty of not updating forever. I hang my head in shame. I hope you liked this and that the next part is out sooner! **Jamie the Red Fish**: Thanks hun for the encouragement. I appreciate it. **Death-resurrected**: Thanks for the compliments. I'm glad you think this is deeper. I'm trying! **Crissy**: Thanks for the review, emotions are tricky little buggers to write I'm glad I'm doing okay so far. **Tristanschick**: More Trory action is coming. Things will be heating up between our two favorite characters. **Laine**: Lol, yeah Nurse Mary does sound slutty. As soon as I wrote I heard Lorelai saying "dirty" in my head. Thanks for the review!


	8. Cleaning Out My Closet

Disclaimer: Not mine. Don't own the characters or the lyrics just the plot.

A/N: Okay I know I took forever with this. It took some recent reviews to kick my butt into gear. I got caught up in my other story _Only One_. I'm also in summer school to make up classes I missed by taking a semester off. But I promise I will finish this story and I will update sooner. Thank you so much for the reviews and the encouragement. Personal thank-yous at the bottom like always. Enjoy! Beware angst ahead. 

Chapter Eight: Cleaning Out My Closet

_"I'm sorry Momma/I never meant to hurt you/ I never meant to make you cry/ But tonight I'm cleanin' out my closet."~Eminem_

How Tristan managed to get through an entire day of school, Rory would never know. He was still sporting many colorful bruises and of course the female population of Chilton was practically lining up to "kiss it and make it better". It was making Rory sick to her stomach. 

          "Hey Rory! Could you help me with this?" Tristan asked motioning her over to his locker. 

          "Sure." She said as she began to put the books he would need for the weekend in his book bag. "How are you feeling?"

          He grimaced. "Like I was run over by one of those eighteen-wheeler trucks."

          "No sweetie, remember it was a huge Welcome to Stars Hollow sign." She mocked him.

          He narrowed his eyes at her tone. "Thanks for the reminder."

          "Anytime." She answered cheerfully.

          "You know Gilmore. You can be a mean little girl when you want to be."

          "I'm aware of this and have no problem with it. Just like you can be a self-absorbed self-abusive prick when you choose to be."

          "Ouch. I'm wounded."

          "I know. Remember the sign?"

          "You're never going to let this go, are you?"

          Rory smiled, and not an entirely a nice smile, "Not a chance." They both walked out to Paris's car, the designated meeting place, but Paris was nowhere to be found.

          "Where do you think she is?" Rory asked glancing down at her watch. One good thing about Paris was that you could always count on her to be punctual. 

          "Probably terrorizing some teacher over a half of a percentage point." Tristan remarked.

          "I heard that DuGrey!" Paris shouted storming up to the couple. "For your information I was talking to Headmaster Charleston about your makeup work, so you could try and be grateful."

          "Sorry Par." He said awkwardly shifting against the car. He had not flinched or exploded when she called him by his last name. That was progress right? 

          "Come on guys lets get Tristan home before he collapses." Rory said taking their bags and putting them in the open trunk of Paris's car. 

          "Hey, I would never do something as unmanly as collapse."

          "Would you prefer I said swoon?" Rory retorted as she assisted him into the front seat of the car.

          "Children can we put a hold on the sexual tension for five minutes? You're giving me headache. And thanks to the three hours of sleep I got I'm not exactly in the best mood. Okay?" Paris growled. 

          "Duly noted." Intoned Rory as she climbed into the backseat deliberately ignoring the first part of Paris's declarative. 

          As they pulled up to his house, Tristan braced himself for what was to come, he let Rory assist him out of the car and hand him his school things but refused to let either her or Paris come into the house with him. He confirmed their plans to study the next day and waved goodbye. 

                   He opened the door to an empty foyer, no evidence from last nights fight graced the floor in front of the study, it had all been quietly cleaned up by the household staff. He limped up to his room and fell onto his bed, fighting the instinct to pull the covers over his head and pretend everything would be okay, because he knew it wasn't going to be okay. It never was. A timid knock on his door interrupted his thoughts.

          "Who is it?" he called out.

          "It's just me." His mother's voice replied. 

          He pushed himself up to a sitting position before responding, "Come in."

          She entered the room slowly unsure of what she would find. Looking around she saw the debris from his drunken rage and then she saw her son, covered in bruises sitting on the bed. 

          "What happened to you?" she gasped.

          Tristan shrugged sullenly. "It's not like you look so great yourself." He snarled referring to the large bruise on her face. 

          Unconsciously her hand went up to touch it and hovered there for a moment before she regained her composure. 

          "That's none of your business." She informed him coolly. 

          "Whatever you say _mother." He said his words dripping with derision._

          "Tristan…"she began but just sighed. She had no idea how to address her son, she didn't know how to talk to him, and she never had.

          He echoed her sigh unconsciously. He didn't know how to bridge the gap between them and if he was honest with himself he really didn't want to. Too much had past between them and too much of it had been bad. She may have meant well but meaning well didn't make her a good mother. 

          "I got into an accident. The car is totaled by the way."

          "Are you okay?" she asked immediately.

          He shrugged but even that motion made him wince. "I'm fine. Just a little banged up."

          "Can I? Is there anything I can do for you?" she asked tentatively.

          "No." then pausing regretting the harsh way it came out. "No thank you."

          "Okay." She assented beginning to back out of the room. "Tristan about last night…"

          "Yes?"

          "What your father said—"

          "He's not my father, is he?"

          Janette forced herself to meet his eyes. "No, he's not the man who fathered you. But he is the man who raised you. And he was just upset last night and drinking too much. He didn't mean what he said. What he did."

          Tristan gave a harsh laugh. "Yes he did. He always does and you always protect him. I've given up trying to understand it. I don't care. You're both fucked up."

          Janette lifted her hand to her temple trying to ward off the migraine that was beginning to pound at her skull. "I'm sorry Tristan. I don't know what else to say."

          "I guess there is nothing else to say."

          She nodded and walked out of the room. She didn't understand her son and sometimes she wished with all her heart that she could. That they would regain the bond they had shared when he was younger. But the cynical part of her acknowledged that it was easier this way, to have the distance, the disinterest. He was a grown man now not a little boy so she needn't worry about him. But that voice she tried to ignore reminded her he never really been a little boy, not really, he had always been a little man trying to protect her. He never understood she didn't need to be protected. This was the life she chose. 

          Rory arrived at her Grandparent's home and after exchanging pleasantries she went up to her bedroom intending to study. She had no sooner opened her textbook when a wave of exhaustion overcame her. Laying down she succumbed quickly to sleep and didn't wake until she heard her mother's voice at the door. 

          "Wake up Sleeping Beauty." Lorelai called opening up the door a little wider. 

          Rory opened her eyes groggy from the nap she had just taken. "What? Is it time for diner already?" she asked burying her head back into the pillow.

          "No we still have a little time."

          "Then why don't you let me sleep?" Rory asked feeling cranky.

          "Because Mommy Dearest needs to have a little chat with." Lorelai said becoming a little impatient herself. Enough scenarios had run through her mind and now with Rory being grumpy and sullen it only made things worse.

          Rory pushed herself up into a sitting position. She knew she shouldn't be taking her anger out on her mother but she couldn't seem to help herself, she was only human, not perfect like some people seemed to think. "What?" she asked again petulantly.

          Lorelai was getting angry now. So she whipped out the article of clothing she had found in the downstairs bathroom this morning. A pair of navy blue boxer shorts that had the insignia of a military school on them, Tristan's boxer shorts.

          "Care to tell me whose these are? Cause unless Jess had a brief sojourn in military school that I don't know about…"

          Rory flushed. "They're a friends. He must have forgotten them." She said knowing it would just make her mother angrier. But Rory was angry. You would think that her mother would trust her enough not to jump to conclusions. But since she obviously didn't Rory let her words of ambiguity linger. 

          Lorelai bit her cheek trying to think of what to say next. Trying and ultimately failing to stop herself from yelling. 

          "What the hell were you thinking?"

          "It's none of your business what I was thinking. You have no idea what happened but the first thing you think of is that I'm sleeping with some guy! I'm not you mother!"

          "That's what every girl thinks until she ends up pregnant!" Lorelai screamed back. She couldn't believe her daughter was acting this way. Her and Rory rarely fought but when they did—it was ugly.

          "I'm not pregnant!"

          "You're not going to be. You're going on the pill." 

          Rory and Lorelai both experienced flashbacks of the dance Rory's sophomore year but things had changed since then.

          "How long has this been going on?" Lorelai yelled. "Have you been sneaking him over every time I'm out? I thought you had more sense than this!"

          "I do." Rory shot back at her mother. "I have more sense than you. And if you gave any thought to this than you would realize that you're wrong. But no! You just look at me and you see yourself and all you're mistakes. You don't trust me."

          "Not anymore." Lorelai said bitterly. 

          "It's not fair. Everyone is just waiting for me to mess up. Not live up to the perfect Rory standard. Well guess what? I didn't mess up. I'm still a virgin. But I'm not always going to be, and you have to face it. I'm growing up. You can't keep me a little girl forever. Let me make my own mistakes." Rory screamed all her pent up frustrations. Tears were coursing down the faces of both women.        

          "I don't understand."

          Rory felt the anger leach out of her and now only the bitter aftertaste of guilt lingered. 

          "A friend was in trouble and spent the night. He needed a change of clothes, which Jess provided. That's it. Nothing happened."

          Lorelai eyed her daughter and conceded that she must be telling the truth. But so much had been said and the bitterness hung over the room like cigarette smoke. She didn't know what to say. I'm sorry didn't seem right because she wasn't sorry she had asked. She was sorry about how the conversation went but she thought she knew her daughter better than this. Maybe she had been wrong—and that hurt.

          "You should have told me." Was all Lorelai said as she got off the bed and headed to the door. 

          Rory nodded but didn't say anything. Too much had already been said. You couldn't take words back—and sometimes things just needed to be said. Even if they hurt, especially if they hurt. 

**Lucyferina**: Thank you for the review. I'm sorry I didn't update sooner. But once again I promise I will not abandon this fic. I will finish it. **Jazz**: Hey girl! Thanks for the review. I'm glad you enjoy the "cute" moments. More to come as soon as I get out some more angst, fluffy moments will follow. **Lanie**: Glad to know I'm not the only Dashboard addict. I do like the potential in the Jess/Paris relationship. More of them will be in the next chapter. Thanks for the review! **Dreamer4ever-77**: I'm glad you like the story. Thanks for taking the time to review! I enjoy your comments. **Anonymous**: Wow, that's enthusiasm. Thanks. **Me**: I'm glad you like my version of Tristan. When it comes to that boy, what's not to like? Thanks for the review! **TristansChick**: I'm glad you liked the chapter. Yes there will be Paris/Jess action. In fact I'm planning more of that for the next chapter. Those two are so fun to play with. **Mandie**: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you still like this. **Kate**: Thanks for your comments. I do feel bad for poor Tristan. He has a lot more to work through, but Rory will there to help ;). More Trory action to come. **Crissy**: LOL yep only Tristan would be hitting on girls half conscious. It's part of his charms. Thanks for the review. **Ellie**: Thank you dear for the review. I would have sent this to you to beta but I felt so guilty I just wanted to post it right away. I'll talk you later I'm sure. **Lola**: I'm glad you liked the Trory parts. Yes Tris will eventually explain his situation to Rory it will just take some time. And Paris and Jess have some scenes coming up. I hope you'll enjoy them too. **Deeta**: You're such a sweetheart. It's good to know I'm not the only one who drools over Tristan. Rory has way more self-restraint than me! **Monica**: I'm glad you like my portrayal of Jess and Paris. Having them fight is always tons of fun. More about them in the next chapter soon it will be revealed why there is so much tension between them ;). **LizDarcy**: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you like the POV I have on Rory. Love your name by the way. Huge P&P fan here. **Ashley**: Thanks for the words of encouragement. I appreciate it! **Green eyed wonder**: Thanks for the review and your concern. I'm happy you enjoy this! **Maree Collingswood**: LOL. Loved your review. More story is on the way. By the way I love your stories too! **Lindsey**: Thanks for the applause::blushes:: and to answer your question. Yes Tristan is under the influence, a lot of it and it all different varieties. A shock like a car accident can sober a person up pretty quick. Enough that they're more coherent and will remember things better. Hope that helps. Thanks for the review. **ChevieJane**: Thank you, I adore your reviews. They always make me smile. Thank you again for the encouragement. **Lookening4CoffeeGod**: Thanks! Glad you find it interesting. **Natalie**: I loved your review, thank you. I'm glad you like intense Tristan. I think there's a lot more to him than people think. And Jess and Paris are so much fun as I've said more about them and their particular source of tension is coming up. **Intuition**: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you like the story. **Martina G**: Thanks for the review. I know this story has a lot of angst but it serves a purpose in bringing Rory and Tristan closer. After that happens lots more romance I promise! **Annashari**: I love your reviews. And I'm just happy you like the stories. Thanks! **Lindsay**: Thanks for the review! **Lin**: Wow, somebody recommend this? I'm surprised but happy. I'm glad that you're enjoying it. **Whatever child**: I know I took forever but you're encouragement helped. Promise I will work harder on this story! Thanks for the review! **Nora**: Thanks for the review. I'm glad you find this semi-original. **Average Jane**: Hun thank you so much for the reviews. You really kicked my butt into gear and made me finish this chapter. I will finish this. Thanks so much for letting me know at least someone still cares about this fic. **Blurred**: Thanks for the review and I hope you liked this chapter too! 


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